Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
