Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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