is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
