After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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