He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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