dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
