Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
