? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Come on in and take your pants off
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