so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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