Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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