accomplished twins. life is a go
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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