Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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