omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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