I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
