My brain says no but my pants say off.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
