I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
