I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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