I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
