i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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