The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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