I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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