If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
