i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
