he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
