Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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