Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The adults are the big ones right?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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