i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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