Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
