You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
MIDGETS
????
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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