dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
