I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
