My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
