guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
