wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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