So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
