I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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