Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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