3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
