The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
