you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
