sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
