I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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