There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Randomize