if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
