It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
