She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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