May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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