we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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