Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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