I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
