I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
