I want to have your abortion
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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