What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
