i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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