She's JV to your varsity
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
