i was born a porn star she said
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
