with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
