If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
