well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
