proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
